In a move that has left political analysts and late-night comedians scrambling for material, Vice President Kamala Harris has announced her intention to run for president in 2028. Drawing from her 2024 campaign playbook, Harris plans to maintain a low profile for the next four years, emerging just in time to lavishly spend on Hollywood endorsements and star-studded events.
Reflecting on her previous campaign, Harris remarked, “I don’t care if I win or lose; that was one hell of a time. It was like ‘Brewster’s Millions,’ except this time it was Kamala’s Billion. I had to spend it all before Election Day, and I did it, and then some. Boy, was that fun.”
Indeed, Harris’s 2024 campaign was marked by extravagant spending, including nearly $2.5 million paid to Oprah Winfrey’s production company for a celebrity-packed town hall
Despite raising over $1 billion, the campaign ended with a $20 million deficit, leading to criticism from donors and party officials
Undeterred by past financial missteps, Harris’s 2028 strategy appears to double down on her affinity for celebrity endorsements and high-profile events. Rumors suggest that plans are already underway for a series of concerts featuring A-list performers, with ticket prices rumored to include complimentary avocado toast and a signed copy of Harris’s memoir, “The Art of the Spend.”
Political observers are divided on the efficacy of Harris’s approach. Some argue that her reliance on Hollywood glamour may alienate working-class voters, while others believe it could energize the base and attract younger demographics. As one unnamed strategist put it, “If you can’t win over the voters, at least you can dazzle them with a good show.”
“I’m thinking of renting out stadiums across America and going on tour with Kamalapalooza.,” she said. “Madonna, Beyonce, the Boss, and everyone else in one tour, paid for by my gullible donors…let’s do this shit.”
As the 2028 election cycle begins to take shape, all eyes will be on Harris to see if her unique blend of political strategy and celebrity spectacle can translate into electoral success—or if it will simply be another expensive lesson in campaign finance.
