New book says Trump is Satan, Melania an alien from another world

A bombshell new book by an author who once knew a guy who worked as a staffer in a building two blocks from the White House while Donald Trump was President has dropped another bombshell scandal on the Trump Family. Reggie Garcia of 18th Street in Washington, D.C. revealed in his new book, “My Time With Donald Trump: The Real Deal” shocking new facts Americans never knew about the Trump family until now. CNN hailed the book as the smoking gun that proves once and for all they were right about Donald Trump. “Satan. We knew things were bad with Trump, but we never expected this,” said CNN host Don Lemon today. “This new book confirms our suspicions that this all goes way beyond Russian collusion and personal greed.” MSNBC host Rachel Maddow said the book is the missing link that she has been claiming existed since 2015 when Trump first started campaigning for President. “Donald Trump is pure evil, we all knew that,” Maddow said. “What we didn’t know was that he is a fallen angel who controls the entire realm of evil.” Democrats are hailing Garcia as an American hero claiming his book is going to stop Donald Trump once and for all. Trump denied the accusations in the book. “Melania is not an alien and I’m not Satan,” Trump said. “Likely story,” said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Would you expect anything other than yet another lie from the Prince of Darkness? This just confirms the pattern of Trump’s behavior and these recent books by relatively unknown people who were never in the same room as Trump are all the evidence we need to impeach him.” When reminded that Trump is no longer President, Schumer began talking in a glitchy robotic voice, “Impeach Trump…click…we must impeach…impeach…impeach.”