Democrats today announced they will be changing the dates of the American holidays of Christmas and Easter to coincide with the birth and rising of President Joe Biden. Traditionally, Easter has represented the rising of Jesus and Christmas represented the birth of Jesus.
Instead, Democrats will change Easter to January 20th, signifying the re-awakening and rising of President Joe Biden and Christmas will be moved to November 20th to celebrate the birth of Joe Biden.
“We don’t need to be following false prophets anymore,” said Nancy Pelosi with a bottle of gin in one hand and a shot glass in the other. “We have our savior right here on Earth.”
CNN’s Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo have been delivering non-stop coverage of Jesus Christ’s alleged life of racism.
“To believe in Jesus over Joe Biden is just another example of systemic racism in America,” Cuomo said. “Jesus performed one mircale in his lifetime, just one. He rose from the dead on Easter. Joe Biden rises from the dead each and every morning.”