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DeSantis Migrant Blamed for Purse Theft in Martha’s Vineyard

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MARTHA’S VINEYARD, MA – On Friday, a resident of Martha’s Vineyard reported a purse theft, claiming a migrant recently sent to the exclusive island by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

Clara Rambarton, 58, called police after she realized her purse was missing after dining at an expensive wharfside seafood restaurant at around 6 pm.

Rambarton noticed her purse was missing when the waiter dropped off her $244.37 bill for her and her husband’s lobster feast special that included several rounds of gin and tonics and white Russians.

“I reached around to get my purse to pay the bill, and it was gone,” Rambarton said in a police report. “I know it was one of those Mexicans here on the island and definitely not one of those kitchen ones that work in the restaurant.”

Rambarton said she fears that the crime rate on the island, home to the rich and famous, will continue to increase until the migrants are sent somewhere ‘more appropriate’.

Later that night, Theodore Rambarton, III, her husband, called the police department to report that his wife found her Louis Vitton in the back seat of their Bentley.

Rambarton told police, “It was a false alarm today, but who knows what can happen tomorrow. So we need to keep these border people where they belong…somewhere else.”

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