President Joe Biden was thrilled this weekend when he learned the White House archives still had his old typewriter, “Betsy” in storage.
“They put all these gizmos and gadgets on my desk until Jeff down in archives surprised me today with Betsy,” Biden said. “I used to bang on Betsy late into the night back in the day and I’m glad I can now finally get some work done.”
“President Biden is known around the White House to have the fastest two fingers in the entire building,” Jeff from archives said. “At first it was funny to see him hold his tablet to the sky and randomly tapping the screen, but to be quite honest, Rick from IT was getting tired of being called for ‘glitches’ and ‘bugs’ every 10 minutes.”
Biden placed Betsy on his desk in the Oval Office and began pushing out a telegraph to Vladimir Putin.
“You’re next man,” the telegraph said. “Signed, Bad Dude Joe.”
After typing the message for his telegram, he passed it off to a White House intern who told the President, “Yes, sir, right away”.
“Carl the intern has no idea what to do with it,” Rick from IT said. “He brings down this piece of paper with one sentence and like four strikethroughs in it. We ended up Googling the word telegraph and found out Western Union discontinued the service in 2016, so we all just decided the best course of action was to tell the President the message was delivered and we quickly threw it in the trash.”
“Besty is going to help me get my first 100 days done in my first 30,” Biden told a room full of staffers.
None had the courage to let the President know he is now past his 30th day.