WASHINGTON, DC – The White House announced today, it has formed a partisan committee to make sure the Biden administration has royally screwed everything and everyone in America and didn’t leave any sectors untouched.
“Look, we have screwed up energy, foreign policy, COVID-19, Afghanistan, Ukraine, the economy, the border, the supply chain, health and eduction,” Jenn Psaki said. “The President wants to make sure there’s nothing left unscorched. It’s important that America under Joe Biden becomes worse.”
President Biden boasted in front of reporters about how much damage he has inflicted upon America for making him wait nearly 60 years to finally let him be President.
“C’mon man, I got into politics in the 1960s and you people made me wait all this time to be President,” Biden said. “Did you know, and I’m serious about this, vanilla ice cream sure is looking good today, that reminds me, I was on the Amtrak train the other day in Ukraine…and I saw my old friend Angelo..I said Angelo, nevermind, I won’t say anything more about that.”
At that time, a White House aid ushered media out the door with tear gas.