WASHINGTON, DC – Coming off his successful burn of former President Donald J. Trump by calling him “The MAGA King”, President Joe Biden issued a dire warning that if elected, Trump will “Make America Even Greater Again”.
“This guy wants to make America even greater again, c’mon man,” Biden said. “He says he wants to lower fuel prices back to under $2 per gallon, flood the market with baby formula, close the border with Mexico, and to return America back to being energy independent.”
Biden did the finger quote thing when he said the words ‘energy independent.
The President then lowered his brow, hunched over his podium, and whispered, “He even wants to fix the supply chain crisis by bringing more goods to market at a more competitive rate.”
Biden said when times got tough when he was younger, he’d rub quarters together to keep his hands warm and that if people stopped having so many damn babies, there wouldn’t be a baby formula shortage.
“Look, and I’m serious, we have to [unintelligible] the economy and,” Biden said as he suddenly stopped talking and turned left to shake hands with an imaginary man before walking away from the podium toward the end of the stage that didn’t have a door.