President Biden formally breaks off ties with Corn Pop after heated phone call

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, President Joe Biden said he has blocked Corn Pop from being able to call his Oval Office phone.   Whenever somebody hits it big, whether it’s hitting the lottery or miraculously waking up one morning in the White House and wondering where you are, people from your past are sure to come knocking.

That’s the case when it comes to Corn Pop, an African American gangster who used to hang out at the same public swimming pool Joe Biden used to work at.

“It’s been about 55 years since Corn Pop and I made up after that ass-whooping I nearly gave him out in the public pool parking lot, but it doesn’t mean he can call me four or five times a day asking me if there were any Chinese oil companies that needed help,” Biden said.  “I said early on, I don’t care if he calls and wants to talk about how we used to rub straight razors on the curb and leave them out in the rain and stuff, but I can’t get him a job right now if I wanted to.”

Biden said the conversation got tense, but the President warned the former gang member, “Look man, I still got that six-foot chain in my trunk with your head written all over it, Esther.”

A switchboard operator at the White House said Corn Pop later called the White House mainline fourteen times prompting the IT department to permanently block Corn Pop’s phone number.


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