Biden reopens new and improved cages for immigrant children

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President Joe Biden today said he wasn’t sure why everyone was going “hog wild” on him and Kamala Harris after their administration reopened detention facilities he and the Vice President used to call ‘cages for kids’.

“It’s a different time, man,” the President balked. “Nobody wanted to live those Trump cages…but now that I’m President, I can tell you there are poor kids in Mexico who would die to be able to spend a night in an America cage.”

Biden said the cages are temporary housing for children, but said it’s not fair to use the word cage.

“I signed an executive order last night to bar the use of the word cage in federal government,” the President said. “We now call them “solid wall deficient housing.”

Biden said the cages are now stocked with amenities that were not present under the Trump administration and include a free month’s supply of birth control pills, a bag of weed, and condoms.

“We want them to experience America the way it is all over middle-class America from the time they arrive,” Biden said.


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