Federal District Judge Penelope Q. Gavelstrike issued an unprecedented order on Tuesday, demanding that the Trump administration immediately cease all peace negotiations between Russia and Ukraine. Citing “an egregious surplus of harmony”
TRENTON, NJ – In a press conference that had attendees confused about the absurdity, New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy proudly announced a list of nefarious non-accomplishments, starting with the fact that he
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After a rewarding twenty-five-year career in the U.S. Army, Master Sargeant William Johnson wonders what life would have been like if he had just joined the Marines out of high school. Johnson
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In an unprecedented move, Major League Baseball (MLB) has decided to send the struggling Oakland A’s to the AAA minor leagues after their abysmal 30-80 start to the season, marking the worst
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A Ukrainian farmer who has collected abandoned Russian military from the vehicles has found out he now boasts the 15th largest army in the world. In a shocking revelation that has sent
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In a shocking revelation that has left experts baffled, a man has confessed that nothing in the world compares to the sheer bliss of a cold beer and a dirty old recliner
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In an unprecedented legal maneuver, former President Donald J. Trump has shocked the world by entering a plea of “not guilty” for crimes that have yet to be specified. Legal experts are
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In an unexpected turn of events, Generation X has defied the laws of nature and stubbornly refuses to succumb to their imminent extinction. Scientists and demographers worldwide are baffled by this phenomenon,
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In a nostalgic and somewhat relieved reflection, Gen X husband, Mark, took a trip down memory lane to a time when his wife, Sarah, would constantly nag him to stop and ask
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NEW YORK CITY – In a stunning display of resilience and perseverance, the New York Mets celebrated a historic achievement by making it to the All-Star break before finally deciding to call
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In an unsurprising twist of events, neighbors of a recently arrested murder suspect have raised eyebrows with their nonchalant responses, stating that they always knew he would “kill somebody one day.” As
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